For the first time ever, your belove Captain has brought you a double shot of the rewind!!! In one article!!! It's color coded to kill your confusion...in other words, TNA is Orange, and RAW is Red. Get it? Got it? Good! Let's get to it!!!

Tonight’s iMPACT goes live for the first time in over two months on Monday night!!! The crowd is crazy! The announcers are crazy!!! And TNA President Dixie Carter is in awe of what she sees above her. With that, her knight makes his way to the ring with his bouncer as Hulk Hogan and Abyss make their way to the ring!!

RAW goes live with the arrival of the Phenom, The Deadman…The Undertaker. The Deadman makes his way into the ring and surveys the crowd in Portland, Oregon. Undertaker starts off by pointing all his attention to his opponent at WrestleMania, Shawn Michaels. But it doesn’t take long for Shawn to come out and stop the Phenom in his tracks.

Shawn makes it clear that he had no choice but to cost Taker the gold in the Elimination Chamber. But then, he points the attention to Undertaker’s actions last week…and calls it fear!! The Deadman issues a stern warning to Shawn to choose his next words carefully. The duo continues their war of words with The Undertaker promising to open the Gates of Hell and unleash hell so severe to ensure that at WrestleMania, Shawn’s career is over.

But Shawn seems undaunted by Taker’s comments as he makes it clear that the only dark cloud that will be around will be Shawn ending his undefeated streak. With that, Shawn walks away but not before staring back at the man he promises to defeat at WrestleMania.

As Hogan and Abyss soak in the surrealness of the night, Hogan makes it clear that he was going to take TNA to sacred ground. But thanks to Ric Flair, Hogan is out for one thing and one thing only: TNA’s Reckoning Day. And with that, he says that it is time to put up or shut up!

Hulk Hogan & Abyss vs. Ric Flair and TNA Heavyweight Champion AJ Styles

Hogan takes the fight to Flair, but it doesn’t take long for Flair’s protégé to save his partner. But all of a sudden, the lights go out and when they come back on, Sting is standing in the middle of the ring with his trademark bat. But all of a sudden, Sting attacks both Hogan and Abyss. He then smiles at the carnage he has started.

AJ Styles grabs a chair, and after getting nailed with a bat, Styles drops Abyss. Sting then leaves the ring and lets Flair and Styles finish the job. As Brooke Hogan looks on, security sends Flair and Styles packing.

Winner: No Contest

Back on iMPACT, Sting is heading out when he is approached by Dixie Carter telling him that he owes her. But Sting shoves her against a wall and makes it clear that he owes her nothing before walking away from her. JB is talking to Flair and Styles, who are smiling about the carnage they caused. Flair says that Sting has finally come to his senses. They then promise that Abyss and Hogan will leave on a stretcher. Also, Abyss is asking simply, “WHY STING WHY?!”

Gail Kim, Eve Torres & Kelly Kelly vs. Alicia Fox, Maryse and Katie Lea Burchill

On RAW, the Divas are going at it like fiery cats!! Maryse comes in to pick up the pieces left by Fox. After taking the cheap shot at Kelly Kelly, Maryse gets caught, and Eve takes advantage. Eve delivers a trifecta of dropkicks before getting caught with a thumb to the eye. Eve then delivers the Mile High Salute before getting ambushed by Katie and Alicia. But after Kelly and Kim take them out, Eve applies a Bronco Bar to force the Divas Champion to tap out and pick up the win for her team.

Winners: Gail Kim, Eve Torres & Kelly Kelly

Back on iMPACT, Brooke is freaking out about what has happened to her father. In the ring, Kazarian is out to talk about the last two years of his life. He then makes it clear that here tonight, that doubt is gone! He came back for one reason: To reignite the flame known as The X-Division. And he says that if TNA is going to war, then let the X-Division lead them into battle.

But he is quickly interrupted by Christopher Daniels, who says that he should be the one that leads the X-Division into battle. He then claims that he and he alone will carry the X-Division to new heights. With that, the X-Division champion Doug Williams comes down to make it clear that the X-Division is alive and well…because he is X-Division Champion. Kaz chimes in and says that he is the champion…right now. He then asks where Williams was when they were putting the X-Division on the map.

As all three men prepare to slug it out, Eric Bischoff comes down and makes it known that it was because of the X-Division that made him come with Hogan to TNA. He then makes a match tonight: Kaz will face Daniels and Williams with the X-Division Championship on the line.

X-Division Championship

Daniels vs. Kazarian vs. X-Division Champion Doug Williams

All three men show why the X-Division is the adrenaline rush of TNA. Kaz almost gets the pin on both men in the beginning of the match. As Daniels and Williams battle outside, Kazarian flies over the top on them to raise the bar another notch. Daniels gets complete control of the match following a Death Valley Driver.

But Williams returns into the match to only get involved in a slugfest on the top rope. Both men get dropped again by Kazarian as all three men lay flat on the ground. All three get up at the same time with Kaz getting the advantage with a diving elbow followed by the huge leg drop. As Daniels goes for the Fallen Angel, Williams returns to go for the Chaos Theory. But Kaz nails the big boot and swinging neckbreaker, only to get a two count. Williams is eliminated as Daniels goes for the BME, but gets caught by Williams with the Chaos Theory to pick up the win and retain the X-Division Championship.

After the bell, Shannon Moore sprints down to send a message to Williams that the X-Division just got flown a little higher. With that, Bischoff comes down to inform Williams that he will face Moore at Destination X for the X-Division Championship.

Winner and Still Champion: Doug Williams

In the back, Dixie Carter informs the world that due to his actions earlier tonight, Sting will be in a match tonight. We also find out that the Hogan & Abyss-Styles & Flair match will happen tonight…much to the dismay of Brooke Hogan.

Following a video package about the history of Batista and John Cena, Cena comes out and admits that he can’t beat Batista. The only thing he can do is go out and beat him. He then says that he counts on Batista to get involved in his match against Vince tonight. We also find out the final two competitors for the Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: William Regal & Evan Bourne!

Back on iMPACT, it’s a free for all to determine the new TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championships.

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championships

Sarita & Taylor vs. The Beautiful People vs. Tara & Angelina Love

All six women are slugging it out as Sarita and Taylor come in and get dropped by Lacey Von Erich. But Daffney drops Tara with the Knockouts title allowing Velvet Sky to pick up the win and get the vacated Knockouts Tag Team Championships!

Winners & New Knockouts Tag Champions: The Beautiful People

In the back, The Pope is all smiles as he talks about his opponent tonight, Desmond Wolfe when Wolfe comes in and attacks him, further injuring the ankle. Also, Sting is making his way down to the ring.

Handicap Match

Randy Orton vs. Legacy

Rhodes starts the physicality in the corner, but Orton bounces back with a high elbow that sends Rhodes to his corner. DiBiase comes in and beats Orton into a mild submission before getting dropped with a clothesline. Both men are flabbergasted at being dominated by their mentor. Rhodes comes in to try to get control back to Legacy, but Orton just picks up where he left off by beating Rhodes into a corner.

But it takes a vision impairment that allows the duo to finally mount some offense on their mentor. DiBiase continues to beat down Orton, but in the end, it is Legacy that gets the final word as they defeat their mentor. But after nailing Dream Street and Cross Rhodes, they obviously show no remorse for their actions.

Winners: Legacy

“The Icon” Sting vs. ROB VAN DAM

RVD starts off with a quick kick off the top rope followed by Rolling Thunder to get the quick victory in his arrival to TNA. But after the bell, Sting starts decimating Van Dam. He then drops him with baseball bat before walking away from the carnage. But Sting decides to return to finish the job as he continues the punishment. As Sting walks away, he manages to take out a set of referees as well. He then returns to the ring to finish the job until Hogan’s music hits and the Immortal one makes his way down to confront him.

As security and Bubba the Love Sponge try to hold him back, both men and the fans want the war between Hogan and Sting to happen. As Hogan is held back, Sting continues to punish Van Dam. But Hogan is heading to the ring regardless despite being held back by security. Sting gets a cheap shot in and nails Hogan in the midsection. As security helps Hogan out of the arena, Mike Tenay is venting about his frustrations over Sting’s actions tonight.

Winner: Rob Van Dam

While this is going on, Kevin Nash and Eric Young head to the ring to talk about the actions of Hall and Waltman. Nash comes out to inform the duo that for one night only, they will be allowed in the iMPACT Zone for a match with Nash and Young at Destination X. They then call out the duo, who we all know is somewhere in the building. After much waiting, Waltman and Hall finally make their way into the ring as security sprints into the ring. The boys agree to the match…only if they get contracts out of it. Bischoff chimes in and says that if they beat Nash and Young, they’ll get their big fat contracts. If they lose, they are gone…for good! With that, it’s Eric Young locking horns with Six-Pac.

Six-Pac vs. Eric Young

The two smaller guys lock up with Young getting all his aggression out on Pac. Pac aims to go in for the kill with the Bronco Buster before the party gets broken up.

Winner: Who cares? Still a good party!!!

Intermission: Triple H Confront Sheamus!

The Game wastes no time heading down to the ring, but still takes a moment to bask in the glow of the fans in Portland. He starts out by saying that he respects Sheamus for what he did last week. But before he could continue, the Celtic Warrior makes his way down to confront The King of Kings. Triple H tries to get through to Sheamus that he did the exact same thing when he started. And after getting crushed, he had to claw his way back to becoming the guy.

But Sheamus comes out to challenge The Game to a match at WrestleMania. With that, the two men slug it out before Triple H tosses him to the outside. The two continue battling on the outside with Triple H sending Sheamus over the barricade. As Sheamus tries to walk away, Triple H jumps him. Back in the ring, Triple H drops him with a Double A Spinebuster. With that, Sheamus limps off to fight another day. But it is official: At WrestleMania, it will be The Celtic Warrior Sheamus facing The King of Kings Triple H!!!

In the back, Criss Angel is performing a trick for Santino involving a knife. After smashing the cups one by one (which one has a knife under it BTW), Angel reveals that the knife is under the final cup.

Intermission: Kurt Angle confronts Mr. Anderson….Anderson!

Meanwhile on iMPACT, a slew of soldiers grace the walkway of the iMPACT Zone. With that, Kurt Angle comes down and enters the ring to demand the medal stolen from him by Mr. Anderson. After giving the best props in the world to the best men and women in the world: The soldiers who allow guys like me to do what I do everyday. Angle then announces that he will fight Anderson at Destination X. With that, Anderson pops on the screen and starts blasting the soldiers. But it doesn’t take long for Angle to find him and drop him. But as Anderson looks to leave, the soldiers block his escape, and Angle begins taking him down.

Angle tosses him to the outside on both sides, and the soldiers get their shots in before tossing him back into the ring. After the beatdowns from the soldiers, Angle drops him with the Soldier Slam™. Angle then grabs the American Flag, spits on Anderson and waves Ol’ Glory in the air.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match

Evan Bourne vs. William Regal

With Christian watching on from the broadcast table, Bourne dodges the Skull Crusher/Knee Trembler and nails a knee of his own before flying high and dropping Airbourne on Regal to pick up the win and qualify for the Money in the Bank Ladder Match. Yeah, the match was that quick. Sorry that you blinked and missed it. That’s why Bleacher Brothers™ is your source for all the wrestling anarchy!!

Winner: Evan Bourne

In the back, Bubba the Love Sponge is trying to talk Hulk into not fighting tonight. But they are quickly interrupted by Earl Hebner. Hebner is begging for a second chance. Hogan tells Hebner that if it gets out of control, he has to stop this fight. With that, Matt and Tazz deliver the rundown for Destination X. Jeff Jarrett is heading to the ring to face Beer Money when he decides to fight James Storm right now. Robert Roode jumps out and ambushes Jarrett.

Beer Money vs. Jeff Jarrett

BMI drags Jarrett into the ring, and the handicap match is officially on. The duo has complete control until Jarrett starts showing signs of life until Roode drops him with a spinebuster. Following a double team, Beer Money drops him with a set of slugs followed by the Eye of the Storm.

But Jarrett ducks a beer bath and goes on the offense as Roode gets sent packing. Both men are tossed outside, and Jarrett is quick in tow with a double noggin’ knocker. Storm is sent into the steel before Jarrett tries to get back inside. But on the outside, Foley hands Jarrett the barbed wire bat. As Foley chases Slick Johnson, Beer Money nails the DWI to pick up the victory.

Winners: Beer Money

In the back, Abyss and Hogan are working on their gameplan as a sobbing Brooke comes in and asks her father simply, “Are you sure you should be doing this?” After saying yes, he promises that this will be the last time he steps in the ring. After a final embrace, Hogan heads to the ring for his final match.

RAW Main Event

John Cena vs. Vince McMahon

Before the bell, Vince makes sure that Bret has his attention as he tells Cena that what happens in this match will be no illusion, and it will be a Handicap Gauntlet Match.

First Entrant: Vladimir Kozlov: Kozlov delivers a set of headbutts that drops him quickly. Following a spinebuster, Kozlov tags in McMahon. McMahon thinks it’s an easy pinfall, but not the case. With that, the second entrant comes in.

Second Entrant: Drew McIntyre: McIntyre drops him with the Future Shock, but again McMahon is unable to get the win. With that, contestant #3 comes in to take his turn.

Third Entrant: Jack Swagger: Swagger delivers the splash before exiting the ring. But again, McMahon comes up short of his goal to defeat Cena. He then calls in his next monster.

Fourth Entrant: Mark Henry: Henry is skeptical to face Cena, but McMahon threatens him into the World’s Strongest Slam. McMahon again tries to get the victory, but again, Cena kicks out! A fuming McMahon runs over to grab the ring bell and a mic. After making it a No-DQ match, McMahon takes aim at Cena. But Henry talks him out of it…and talks him into doing it. Henry drops the bell but gets dropped by Batista. Kingston sprints down and takes the fight to Batista. Kingston tries to fight hard, but gets dropped with a modified Batista Bomb.

Cena shakes off the cobwebs and takes the fight to Batista. As he aims for the Attitude Adjustment, Batista drops him with a Spear. After delivering the Batista Bomb, McMahon finally picks up the pinfall victory over the man who will face Batista for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania.

After the bell, Batista stands over his fallen prey and celebrates the carnage he caused as RAW goes off the air.

Winner: Vincent “I’m still a douchebag and I lost tonight’s War” McMahon

TNA Featured Contest

TNA World Heavyweight Champion AJ Styles & Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan & Abyss

Hogan shows how tough he truly is as he absorbs the chops and punches of Flair. After Flair is sent to the outside, Hogan taunts Styles and then chases Flair. Now Flair joins the blood bank as Hogan bites his head before delivering more punches. Styles and Flair try to go in for the kill, but Hogan and Abyss begin to Hulk up and drop both men. Following the big boots, Abyss nails the Black Hole Slam on the TNA World Champion to get the pin and the victory over Flair and Styles.

After the bell, Desmond Wolfe drops both men with a chair. Pope comes down to help his fallen teammates, but he gets chop blocked in the knee. But all of a sudden, the lights dim once more and Jeff Hardy sprints down to the ring to join in the party. Hardy drops Wolfe with the Hardy Slam and delivers the Twist of Fate on AJ Styles followed by the Swanton Bomb as the show fades to black!!!

Winners: Hulk Hogan and Abyss

Winners of Monday Night WAR Week One: TNA Monday Night iMPACT!

RAW hits the airwaves in Oklahoma City with the arrival of Shawn Michaels. If you missed last week, HBK finally got his wish for one more match with The Undertaker at WrestleMania 26. Michaels comes out to talk about the peers that have looked away since the match between HBK and The Deadman was made official. He then calls out his peers who have doubted him.

After a brief moment, it is Triple H, Shawn’s DX partner, comes down to have a chat with his DX running mate. The Game makes his way into the ring to confront his former partner. The Game openly admits that he doesn’t think Shawn can beat the Deadman…he knows that he can. He informs Shawn that he is the best that he’s ever been in the ring with. Triple H informs Shawn that they have invoked their rematch clause for the WWE Unified Tag Team Championships…tonight.

After a moment, Shawn is a little hesitant about the match, but after some serious motivation from his DX colleague, Shawn decides that it is time to get the gold back from ShoMiz. With that, the duo heads to the back to get ready for their match for the Tag Titles.

In the back, Cheech and Chong are in the back getting entertained by Bella Twins. As Cheech rolls with the Bellas, Chong gets a “special” present from Hornswoggle.

Following a quick WWE Rewind, Randy Orton heads to the ring for his match with Legacy.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase has all the control until Orton drops him with a huge clothesline. In the corner, DiBiase takes the fight to Orton as he staggers Orton with a dropkick before tossing him to the outside. On the outside, Orton starts to fight back by dropping DiBiase with an uppercut.

Back in the ring, DiBiase has complete dominance of his mentor. As Orton looks to bounce back, DiBiase drops him with another clothesline before slugging it out with The Viper. DiBiase wins the exchange before getting dropped with a power slam. Following the Methodical Dissection and a knee drop, Orton prepares to deliver the RKO. But as Orton prepares to unleash, Cody Rhodes comes in to cause the distraction.

After missing the roll up, Orton spears Rhodes but gets double teamed quickly. But Orton starts fighting back, and just as he looks to drop Rhodes again, DiBiase saves his partner’s hide once again. The Viper stands tall tonight…but how will he handle the duo next?

Winner: Randy Orton via DQ

In the back, a crutch carrying Bret Hart makes his way to the arena. Also, Tommy Chong is feeling the effects of the Lucky Charms as he strokes the hair of William Regal…who he thinks is Eve Torres. After much protest, Cheech finally tries the Charms and feels the same effects as his comedic partner.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match

Jack Swagger vs. Santino

Santino tries to get control early, but Swagger manages to counter a hip toss into the Swagger Bomb to pick up the quick win and take his spot in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match.

Winner: Jack Swagger

In the back, the WWE Champion Batista makes his way down…but the coward has security flanked behind him as well.

Intermission: The John Cena-Batista Confrontation

As the second hour begins, Cena comes out and addresses his situation with Dave Batista. He makes it clear that Batista’s actions at The Elimination Chamber were strictly business…but after Monday night, it was extremely personal. With that, Batista strolls down to the entranceway amid his security. Despite Cena calling him a 300-pound pansy, Batista still refuses to get in the ring and fight him face to face.

Batista goes on to say that he wants to face Cena at WrestleMania. Despite their similarities, Batista says that they are slightly different. Despite those similarities, Batista says that the company labeled Cena as “The Face of the WWE.” From magazines to movies, Batista feels that the torch was passed from Stone Cold to Cena…when it should have been him. He did what he did last for two reasons: First, he wants to prove that he is much better than him. The second reason is that he can’t stand him. But Cena makes it clear that he will take that title from The Animal at WrestleMania.

Cena continues saying that he gave everything in this business, and it makes him sick that Batista expects everything to be handed to him on a silver platter. Batista makes it clear that he doesn’t care what anyone thinks…he intends on decimating Cena at WrestleMania.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match

Zack Ryder vs. MVP

Ryder delivers early punishment, but it doesn’t take long for MVP to drop the hammer as he hits the BALLIN’ Elbow Drop followed by The Playmaker to pick up the win and earn a spot in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match.

Winner: MVP

Diva Pajama Pillow Fight

Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim & Eve Torres vs. Maryse, Jillian Hall & Alicia Fox

In a shocking twist, the Divas decide to take out the Divas Champion, but it doesn’t take long for Jillian to grab the spotlight. But thanks to Kelly Kelly, the party gets back in full swing as Eve and Gail dish out a double shot on the Divas Champion. Alicia dishes out some sweet justice on Kim, but Gail gets things done with the Agony of Defeet! But it is Eve that gets the job done with the Mile High Splash to pick up the win in the Pillow Fight.

Winner: Eve Torres

After the bell, Hornswoggle joins Cheech and Chong in a Lucky Charms Rain Party!!! On top of that, Mad Dog Vachon is the newest inductee into this year’s Class of 2010.

Intermission: Bret Hart’s Final Curtain Call???

Just as Bret is about to take the ring, Vince steps in and hogs the spotlight once again. The Mongrel struts into the ring to continue stealing Bret’s Thunder. He then introduces The Hitman himself…on top of saying that he is the man he has the utmost respect for. With that, Bret limps down to the ring to make his final statements to the WWE Universe.

After seeing the accident that shattered Bret’s leg two weeks ago, we return live with Vince continuing his attempt to steal the thunder…by having Bret clear his name of the tragic accident. But Bret instead demands that he gets the hell out of the ring right now. Vince then shows his true colors: He lied about the farewell. He then admits that he screwed Bret once again.

After a tirade, Vince then challenges Bret to a match at WrestleMania. Despite the broken leg that Bret has suffered, Vince continues to goad Hart into a match. But Hart refuses because of the broken leg. But Vince goes below the belt by not only calling him a coward but also kicking the crutch away from Hart, sending him to the ground. This finally prompts Hart to accept the challenge of Vince McMahon! But after the acceptance, McMahon says that he will show his physical prowess when he faces possibly Hart’s biggest fan: John Cena!

So the stage is set: At WrestleMania 26, it will be Vince McMahon going one on one with the man he screwed over in Montreal 13 years ago, Bret “The Hitman” Hart.

Next week on RAW: Criss Angel will be the Guest Host as Randy Orton will face Legacy in a handicap match and Vince McMahon will collide one on one with the man he screwed at Elimination Chamber, John Cena!

WWE Unified Tag Team Championship Match

ShoMiz vs. DX

The Miz starts out by just straight up abusing Shawn Michaels as the match gets underway. Big Show comes in and picks up where Miz left off, but Michaels counters the chokeslam and tag in Triple H. Following a pair of spinebusters, Show drops The Game with a Chokeslam, but Shawn jumps in and delivers Sweet Chin Music to the World’s Largest Hemorrhoid.

Following a pair of tags, Shawn comes in and delivers the punishment, but as he prepares for Sweet Chin Music, The Undertaker pops up on the screen and stares straight into the eyes of his opponent at WrestleMania. Miz takes advantage of the distraction and gets the roll up to pick up the win and help ShoMiz retain the Tag Team Championships.

Winners: ShoMiz

After the bell, Sheamus comes in and attacks The Game. The Celtic Warrior shows his irateness at suffering his first loss at Elimination Chamber. After kicking Triple H in the skull twice, The Celtic Powder stands on the Announcers Table proud of his decimation of the 13-Time World Champion. It’s clear that it will be The Celtic Warrior and The King of Kings will battle at WrestleMania. If not before, it is now. See you next week from Portland, Oregon!

As Abyss marvels over the Hall of Fame Ring of Hulk Hogan, the fireworks fly all over the iMPACT Zone. But the duo of Tenay and Tazz are cut off by the TNA World Heavyweight Champion, AJ Styles and Ric Flair.

After the duo boasts about their ambush attack on The Pope, they make it clear that they are running things in TNA. But Ric Flair is irate because of Hogan’s gesture to Abyss…translation: Hogan gave Abyss his HOF Ring. Flair then calls out The Monster, who wastes no time in heading out to confront Flair. Flair tries to insult and intimidate The Monster, but Abyss fires back and challenges The Nature Boy. AJ takes his turn at trying to bully Abyss, but The Monster isn’t backing down from him either.

All of a sudden, Hulk Hogan comes down to take his shots at Naitch and Styles. Hogan calls Styles weak because he continues to bully people. Flair tries to bully Hogan, but Hulk isn’t budging. Flair then questions Hogan’s decision about the HOF ring, but instead they decide they want to fight. But instead of fighting, the duo decides to book it out of the ring. But they threaten that Hogan’s HOF ring will be on AJ’s finger before the end of the night.

Tag Team Tables Match

Nasty Boys vs. Team 3D

Team 3D comes out firing, but so do the Nasty Boys. All four men fight in and out of the ring. While Jimmy Hart is on the outside trying to talk his boys up, Brother Ray drops an injured Brian Knobs. Following a WASSUP to Jerry Saggs, the fans call for…and get…the tables! But as Team 3D get the table set up, Nasty Boys get the vibe back. But just when things look bad for Team 3D, Jesse Neal sprints to the ring and takes down Jimmy Hart before tossing the helmet into Brother Devon.

Following a clock from the helmet, Team 3D send Saggs through the table to pick up the win.

Winners: Team 3D

ODB vs. Daffney

As Tenay and Tazz talk about Lockdown (in my hometown of St. Louis in April), Daffney tries to get the early advantage, only to get dropped on her ass by ODB. But Daffney takes the fight to ODB when she starts working on the left leg of the former Knockouts Champion. She continues to wrap the knee on the steel post, but is quickly disqualified when she breaks out the weapons.

Winner: ODB via DQ

Following an interview with Super Blueprint, Waltman and Hall are looking for weapons in the parking lot, while Beer Money is heading to the ring.

As Beer Money makes it clear that they want to be off the sidelines and in the ring, Super Mex makes his way down to make it clear that Super Blueprint wants to be the best. He then decides that he is going to ask Hulk Hogan for a title shot…for Beer Money. In the back, Eric Young and Kevin Nash make it clear that they want revenge against Scott Hall and X-Pac Waltman. They both agree that they want to indeed bust them up good tonight!

Intermission: Jarrett-Bischoff Summit

After a montage of the history between Jeff Jarrett and Eric Bischoff, Bischoff heads down to the ring to “handle” the situation with Double J. Bischoff admits that he has made a mistake with Jarrett and wants to correct them…tonight. He calls out The King of The Mountain, who makes his way down to the ring.

Bischoff says that he asked Jarrett to use the barbed wire bat on Abyss last week, and that was a disgusting thing to do. He then demands that Jarrett goes and flips burgers for the TNA fans. He hands him a spatula and a hairnet.

Back on the program, Matt Morgan is questioning Super Mex’s decision to give Beer Money a shot at the TNA Tag Team Championships.

Brian Kendrick vs. Kazarian

Kendrick gets early control with an armlock, but Kaz gets control back with an armbar. Following a springboard leg drop, Kaz delivers a huge airlift dropkick. But Kendrick shows his tenacity with a kick to the back of the head. But as Kendrick goes up top, Kaz mounts even more offense before delivering the Flux Capacitor to pick up the win and earn a shot at Doug Williams and the TNA X-Division Championship.

Winner: Kazarian

TNA Global Championship

TNA Global Champion Rob Terry vs. Mr. Anderson…Anderson

As Anderson does his usual spot, Kurt Angle comes up and nails Mr. Anderson in the back with a steel chair. Following the attack, Angle ushers Terry that he’s all his. With that, Terry picks him up and tosses him over the ring, picks him up again and drops him with the British Bomb to pick up the win and retain the Global Championship. As Terry celebrates, Angle smiles at the finale he caused in this match.

Winner and still Global Champion: Rob Terry

Nash & Young vs. Hall & Waltman

In the back, Young and Nash are ambushed by the duo as Nash is laid out with a steel pipe. The two men celebrate the decimation of Eric and Kevin…but I seriously doubt this war is over.

Winners: Scott Hall and Sean Waltman

In the back, Mick Foley, decked out in Bischoff’s suit, is hearing the avalanche of BS coming from Eric’s mouth.

Desmond Wolfe vs. “The Monster” Abyss

Wolfe uses his mat mechanics to get early control over The Monster. But as Wolfe’s cockiness kicks in, The Monster nails him with a splash. As Wolfe guns for the finale, Abyss drops him with a Black Hole Slam to pick up the win. But after the bell, Flair and Styles look to take the ring off of Abyss. As Wolfe nails him with a chair, Abyss looks to end this.

All three men gang up on The Monster, but Hogan starts strutting his way down to the ring to even the odds. But the numbers game catches up once again as all three gang up on Hogan. After Styles nails Hogan with the belt, they continue to gang up on him. But all of a sudden, Abyss breaks the cuffs and chases the three men out of the ring. He then focuses his attention on a bloodied and partially unconscious Hulk.

Winner: Abyss

Back on the program, Hogan tells Flair that he’s coming out of retirement because he’s in one more match: Styles and Flair will face Abyss and a partner of his choosing…and he chooses…HULK HOGAN!!!! And the anarchy begins once again!!! See you March 8^th!!!

Following highlights from last night’s Elimination Chamber, tonight’s RAW opens up in Indianapolis with the arrival of the new World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho. A smiling Jericho comes out to boast about his victory over The Undertaker last night. As Jericho continues to boast, the music of Edge hits, and as Jericho looks towards the ramp, he becomes the victim of a huge spear from The Rated R Superstar.

As Jericho writhes in pain, Edge makes the huge announcement: “Hey Chris! You’re going to WrestleMania…against ME!!” As Jericho leaves the ring, John Cena’s music hits and The Chain Gang Commander comes down to raise hell of his own. After pacing around the ring and collecting his thoughts for a moment, the man who was screwed by Vince McMahon finally opens up.

Cena decides that he isn’t going to wait until WrestleMania…he wants his rematch right now. With that, Vince McMahon struts out to the ring. He comes out and explains that if Batista helps him get rid of Bret Hart, he can have a championship match of his own. He then goes on to say that Batista will not defend the title until WrestleMania…and that Cena is not the only one who has a rematch clause. He puts Cena in a match, and if Cena wins, he goes to WrestleMania…but if he loses, Sheamus will face Batista for the title at WrestleMania 26.

Following Cena’s acceptance, Vince informs him that he will face none other than…WWE Champion Batista.

WWE Divas Championship Finals

Maryse vs. Gail Kim

Maryse starts out with an elbow to the face, but Kim goes on the assault early and often. Maryse blocks the Rising Sun and kicks her in the face before Kim misses the Cross Body. Maryse takes her time in finishing Kim off, which costs her to a point. Both Divas stagger to their feet before Maryse delivers the French Kiss to pick up the win and regain the Divas Championship.

Winner and New Divas Champion: Maryse

In the back, the Guest Hosts Couple are talking about the Diva Bull Riding Contest, when Jillian and Alicia Fox come in to interrupt the festivities. After getting disrespected, Jewel delivers a slap to Hall that sends her away. Also, Randy Orton is trying to decipher through the garbage known as Legacy. But after hearing the spewing that comes out of Cody’s mouth, Orton lets him know that Legacy has come too far to fall apart now.

Before he leaves, he tells Cody to tell DiBiase that he’s sorry. With that, DiBiase arrives and asks him if he’s sticking with the plan…which Rhodes says, “Absolutely.”

Six Man Tag Team Match

Randy Orton & Legacy vs. Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne & Yoshi Tatsu

DiBiase and Tatsu start the match with Tatsu getting the early advantage following a double team with Bourne. DiBiase gets a little breathing room before bringing in Cody Rhodes. Both men go back and forth before Rhodes cuts off Airbourne and drops him with an Alabama Slam. With Orton looking on and showing approval, Rhodes continues the punishment on Bourne. DiBiase comes in off the tag and drops Bourne with a huge clothesline. But Bourne bounces back with the Gateway Drop before tagging in Kofi Kingston.

Kingston starts delivering the punishment with a flying forearm, but as he is going for the Boom Drop, Orton cuts him off and drops him to the ground. He then comes in off the tag and delivers a trifecta of body slams. Following a massive knee drop, Orton applies a reverse chinlock followed by a huge backbreaker. Orton looks over at his partners, and as Cody prepares to come into the ring, Orton drops him with a huge DDT before walking away from the ring.

As Orton delivers an RKO on the outside to DiBiase, Yoshi Tatsu drops Rhodes with a kick to the chest before Bourne nails him with Airbourne to help his team pick up the win for his team. While the trio celebrates, Orton looks on in pleasure at the carnage he caused.

Winners: Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne and Yoshi Tatsu

Interlude: Shawn Michaels-Undertaker Confrontation

Following a video snippet of the history between Taker and HBK, Shawn Michaels makes his way to the ring to explain his actions from last night’s Elimination Chamber. Shawn makes it clear that he did what he had to do in order to ensure that he faces The Undertaker at WrestleMania. As he hopes for a reaction, The Deadman makes his infamous appearance to the delight of the Indianapolis crowd.

The Deadman makes it clear that Shawn has his attention officially. Shawn tells him that his one mistake from last year’s WrestleMania cost him everything. He tells him the only way to get his revenge is to face him at WrestleMania…which The Deadman accepts. But he accepts it on one condition: If Shawn loses, his career…is over. After thinking for a moment, Shawn accepts the Deadman’s condition.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match

Christian vs. Carlito

Following promos from the WWE Rookies, their respective mentors duke it out for a shot at WrestleMania. Carlito goes on the assault, but it doesn’t take long for Christian to get control. But a miscue allows Carlito to briefly have control. As Christian goes for the Killswitch, Carlito blocks it with a modified neckbreaker. Carlito goes for the Backstabber, but Christian rams him into the ring post before delivering the Killswitch and picking up the pinfall victory to earn a spot in the MITB Qualifying Match.

Winner: Christian

Diva Bull Riding Contest w/Jewel and Ty Murray

Eve Torres is the first competitor and survives the mighty Berserk. Following Eve, Kelly Kelly takes her turn on the bull. Kelly does pretty well on the bull and survives the battle as well. Now it’s the Bella Twins that take a shot on Berserk. The Twins decide to ride double, which makes every man in Indy rise to their…feet. The ladies manage to outlast the bull, but the fun goes South when the Unified Tag Team Champions come out to ruin the show. After they trash the Bull Riding Contest, Big Show gets challenged by Ty Murray to ride Berserk as well. Show tries to intimidate the bull, but the bull looks to intimidate Show. Worse part for the Tag Champs: Big Show gets tossed off in less than two seconds.

After getting embarrassed in front of a sell out crowd, Show gets taunted by Berserk, a taunt that costs him even more embarrassment. But as the champs look to leave, the power couple has one more surprise for them: They’re going to face The World’s Strongest Playas…tonight…for the Unified Tag Team Championships.

WWE Unified Tag Team Championship Match

Unified Tag Team Champions MizShow vs. The World’s Strongest Playas

MVP looks still fuming about getting hosed by The Miz last night. After taking out The Miz, MVP gets caught by a Spear from Big Show. After a series of chops and a 500 pound leg drop, Big Show brings in The Miz, who gets dropped by MVP. Both men tag in their partners. After Henry drops Miz with a World’s Strongest Slam, he gets knocked out by a big right hand from Big Show. Show picks up the win to help MizShow retain the gold.

Winners & Still Champions: MizShow

In Hall of Fame news, Wendi Richter becomes the third member to be selected for this year’s Hall of Fame Class. And she will be inducted by…Rowdy Roddy Piper!

Following a recap of last week’s tragic accident with Bret Hart, Vince McMahon pops on to make it clear that he had nothing to do with the injury of Bret Hart. He then extends an invitation to Bret to return next week and deliver a proper farewell. With that, John Cena takes one last thought before heading to the ring for the biggest match of his career.

Next week, on top of Bret Hart’s return to RAW, Randy Orton will face Ted DiBiase…and next week’s Guest Hosts will be Cheech and Chong!!!!

WrestleMania Main Event Match

WWE Champion Batista vs. John Cena (If Cena wins, he faces Batista at WrestleMania; if he loses, Sheamus faces The Animal at WrestleMania)

As Batista ducks the fight, the Animal delivers a low blow to cause the disqualification. This means that Cena will face Batista at WrestleMania for the WWE Championship. But after the bell, The Animal strikes and begins to assault a downed Cena. As Batista leaves the ring, Cena begins to stand up. The Animal returns to inflict more damage on Cena as he tosses him into the barricade.

He then grabs the steel steps and rams Cena’s back into the steel ring post. He again begins to walk away, smiling at the damage he inflicted on his WrestleMania opponent. But again, Cena begins to stand up. Batista returns, grabs a steel chair and slams it on the back of Cena before attempting to walk away again. Despite countless chair shots, Cena continues to try to get to his feet. As the medical team tries to tend to Cena, Batista celebrates his damage as RAW goes off the air.

It's official people: professional wrestling has gone off the deep end. With The Last Call heading to a new stomping ground in a few months, it's time for The Captain to return to what he knows. With that, here is what we have on tap for this week's pro wrestling.

WWE RAW

On RAW, we have a new WWE Champion...and it was John Cena...for about five minutes. After Cena defeated The Game to win the WWE Championship, it was Vince McMahon who would have the last laugh as he sent Batista down to decimate Cena once again. In the end, it was SmackDown's Animal that would hoist the prize above his head. Just like during Cena's first WWE Championship reign, McMahon proved to be the ultimate X-Factor. Now with Jewel and Ty Murray coming to guest host RAW tonight, how will Cena, Triple H and former champ Sheamus handle the invasion of the Animal?

Also tonight, the Rated R Superstar will finally reveal who he will face in the main event of WrestleMania. After two new champions were crowned at The Chamber, Edge now has the choice between former rival Batista or new World Heavyweight Champion and former tag team partner, Chris Jericho. With both men expected to be on RAW tonight, where will Edge decide to invade?

WWE NXT

Just as the ECW door closes with Ezekial Jackson as ECW Champion, the NXT door opens just as quickly. Eight rookies will collide with their eight mentors in a series of tests to make themselves the complete future of WWE. On Tuesday night on Syfy, But this will be no easy task as the eight rookies are paired with successful champions (Miz, Carlito, Matt Hardy), smashmouth bruisers (R-Truth, William Regal), and former/current World Champions (CM Punk, Christian, Chris Jericho). Check out this innovative new series premiering Tuesday night.

TNA iMPACT!

In case you didn't know, TNA is moving as well. iMPACT is having their final two Thursday night shows. That's right wrestling world! TNA will officially re-ignite the Monday Night Wars on March 8th, with its first Monday night show since the January 4th premiere. After the anarchy from this past Thursday's broadcast, what will the next broadcast have in store for the TNA FanNation?

The Pope is the new #1 Contender for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship, but when he'll get that match is up in the air. But things are getting even more bizarre in the iMPACT Zone. Samoa Joe got kidnapped by a group of masked men, The British Invasion is beginning to implode and AJ Styles is still stylin' and profilin' as TNA World Champion. To top it all off, Kevin Nash has returned for one reason: To exact revenge against Hall and Waltman for their attack on him two weeks ago. As for The Pope, revenge is on his mind as well after getting jumped by AJ Styles and Ric Flair.

Oh, did I forget to mention that Hulk Hogan has taken Abyss under his wing to resurrect The Monster that is in him?

WWE Friday Night SmackDown

Controversy continues to swirl around the SmackDown Kingdom. After this past Sunday's Elimination Chamber, we have a new World Heavyweight Champion in Chris Jericho...which makes people think that the Rated R Superstar is next to challenge his former partner for the World Heavyweight Championship. But to make things even more interesting, Shawn Michaels is the reason why Jericho is the champion.

Obsessed with his quest to have one more match with The Undertaker at WrestleMania, HBK delivered Sweet Chin Music to The Deadman, and cost him the gold. Now what is next for the Deadman is simple: Invoke his rematch clause and face Jericho for the gold. But now, Shawn is determined to have his moment.

Speaking of obsessions, SmackDown consultant Vickie Guerrero once again abused her power at Elimination Chamber and is determined to return to her role as General Manager. What will Teddy Long do with Vince McMahon's personal poodle taking over the entire show? And how will Vickie react when she finally runs into Edge? Plus, Mickie James defends the Women's Championship against Michelle McCool...with Vickie Guerrero as special referee! Will McCool regain the gold she lost with the help of Guerrero? Or will the Ultimate Diva Underdog overcome the adversity of a disgruntled former champion and consultant?

We have watched the sports channels all week, and they have been delivering countless reasons as to why the Indianapolis Colts are the team that will win the Super Bowl. We have been given previews to the previews to the previews. Now we can officially say that all these previews are worse than the hangovers after a St. Patrick's Day binge. So while the Tuesday Morning Quarterback orders up another pitcher of beer, I will start this special edition of TMQ and TLC!

The big news is apparently the health of Dwight Freeney. Freeney hurt himself during the AFC Championship Game, but everyone should be more focused on the guys that are going to play on Sunday. But before we get into that, it has been a rather slow week...that is with the exception of the stupidity on display during the Pitt-West Virginia game a few days ago. I am not even going to give nominees for this week's Badfish Award...the winner is clear cut. It's the West Virginia Mountaineers fans!

Who in their right mind throws coins on the court? Who would go to a game just to disrupt it and put the spotlight on them and off of the game itself? That's not just bad sportsmanship...that's just plain ignorant and embarrassing.

But hey! Look he returns with a new pitcher and fresh glasses! It's Bleacher Brothers' own Tuesday Morning Quarterback!

Captain Ron, I know you want to go on one of your little rants, but save that for after the Super Bowl. This is about the game, not the hardwood. So I'm here to ask the infamous question: Who hoists The Lombardi Trophy come this Sunday?

Here are the facts as they stand.

• The Indianapolis Horseshoes are playing in yet another Super Bowl. Their last appearance saw them decimate Rex Grossman and the Chicago Cs on this very same field a few years ago.
• The New Orleans Fish Hooks are playing in their first Super Bowl in franchise history. The Hooks look to make their first trip memorable considering the tragedies they've had to endure as a city.
• The Super Bowl returns to Miami. Miami has played host to 10 Super Bowls (Orange Bowl with five, and Sun Life Stadium with five).
• The Shoes and Hooks will both host upcoming Super Bowls with Indy hosting in 2012 and Nawlins hosting the following year.
• Peyton Manning is playing in his second Super Bowl, while Drew Brees makes his debut in the big game.

Why is everyone thinking that the Shoes will win this? Because they came back and defeated NY Football Team B after trailing at halftime? Because it's Peyton Manning, and he is supposedly unstoppable? Because the Shoes got the best of the best defense in the league? Is everyone forgetting that the Fish Hooks are the highest scoring offense in the league? That they're defense has taken advantage of their underratedness all season long?

In all fairness, this game is going to be good mainly because of the two teams involved. This will not be like the last Super Bowl in Miami where we expected the Cs to show up, only to turn into choke artists. Will this game be like last year's between the Pittsburgh Color Stars and Arizona Desert Birds? Absolutely. Last year, we had two prolific quarterbacks in Ben Roethlischeesburger and Kurtesy Clerk Warner. They delivered the greatest game in recent SB memory. I can see Peyday Manning and Cool Brees delivering the exact performance.

But this game will come down to defense. Defense wins championships, as Baltimore proved during their Super Bowl run. In the past two games for the Hooks, the defense destroyed Warner and Bretterception Favre. When I say destroyed, they sent both QBs to the sideline grimacing in pain. This defense has been called overrated and not that intimidating by the so-called "experts" on that other sports network...and they don't mind that at all.

In fact, the NFL will thrive both financial wise and ratings wise due in large part because of this being the first time that two #1 seeds have met in the Super Bowl in over a decade and a half. That last meeting has some irony to this one as well. In 1993, the Buffalo Streakers and Dallas Blue Stars met in Super Bowl XXVII, and the Streakers were favored in that game as well. The end result? Blue Stars 52, Streakers 17. Dallas dominated that game from start to finish. The following year, the two teams met again, and this time, the Streakers were ready.

They kept the Blue Stars in check for the first half, until Dallas came out firing on all cylinders in the second half.

The last time tragedy was turned into triumph in the Super Bowl was when the Minutemen shocked the Lambkins 20-17 just months after the 9/11 tragedy. The Hooks are looking to erase the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina and bring a Super Bowl Championship to the Big Easy.

The Captain selected New Orleans as his Super Bowl winner. TMQ's better half picked Indianapolis. WWE's Bella Twins picked the Shoes as well. So I have to follow suit with everyone else and say that the winner of this Sunday's Super Bowl will be...The New Orleans Fish Hooks! That's right, America. I am not Vegas, nor ESPMSN! I am the Tuesday Morning Quarterback, and I do things my way!

Captain, did you have anything else?

Nope. The Captain has spoken! I'm sticking with the Saints! GEAUX SAINTS!!!!

Good. In that case, The Quarterback has left one building to hit up another pub. The beer's getting flat here.

2010 WWE Royal Rumble

ECW Championship

ECW Champion Christian vs. Ezekiel Jackson

As Christian tries to get his “Peeps” behind him, Zeke shows his brute strength by launching the champion to the corner. Christian tries to get control, but the strength of Jackson again becomes the X-Factor. But after Zeke tries to punk Christian, Captain Charisma slaps the taste out of Zeke’s mouth before dropping him with a suicide dive from the top rope.

But as Christian begins to gain momentum, Zeke drops him with a body slam and a series of forearms. Zeke continues the punishment by yanking Christian off the turnbuckle. On the outside, Regal looks to give his protégé the upper hand, but the official catches him and ejects him from ringside. After tossing him into the stairs, Zeke brings the champion back into the ring and drops him with a modified chokeslam.

As Christian tries to get back in the match, Zeke drops him with his own version of the Khali Bomb. But just when it looks as if Zeke would get the gold, Christian continues to kick out and fight back. But Christian breaks Zeke’s momentum with a diving forearm off the middle rope. After delivering a missile dropkick, Christian drops his challenger with a huge DDT. But Zeke nails him with a monstrous clothesline…only to get a two count.

Both men go back and forth before Christian nails a top rope DDT. But again, the two men duke it out again. Zeke looks to be primed to win with a pair of rams to the turnbuckle, but Christian counters out and nails the Killswitch in an instant to pick up the win and retain the ECW Championship.

Winner: Christian retains the ECW Championship

In the back, Cryme Tyme is talking to their General Manager about putting both members in the Rumble. But The Miz comes in to put everyone on notice, until Teddy decides to force Miz to finally defend the United States Championship against the #1 Contender MVP…and that match is next!

Also in the back, Cody Rhodes is stirring the pot in the already dysfunctional Legacy when he tells Randy Orton that Ted DiBiase plans on winning tonight and challenging Orton for the gold at WrestleMania.

WWE United States Championship

WWE United States Champion The Miz vs. MVP

Thanks to his mouth, Miz gets suckered into this match against MVP. But MVP is not letting that stop him from getting some payback as he drops the champion with a clothesline. As the Miz tries to fight back, MVP drops him with a shoulder back toss followed by a back suplex.

Miz then slips outside to compose himself, but he finally gets some breathing room as he sends him to the outside, bouncing off the announce table. Miz takes complete control as he sends Porter back into the ring. Following a MizTV, the US Champion sets up to deliver a huge hammer drop. But MVP fights back with a farewell, knee smash and the BALLIN’ Elbow Drop.

Miz ducks out of the Playmaker, only to meet the bottom of MVP’s boot. But he uses the ropes to get control. Both men duck out of each other’s finishers before the slew of near-falls start. Miz slides out of the ring again. But he manages to get the school boy locked up to pick up the win and retain the United States Championship. But as Miz continues to run his mouth, MVP kicks him the gut and drops him with The Playmaker.

Winner: The Miz retains the United States Championship

In the back, Big Show heads to pick his number for the Rumble when he runs into his former partner, Chris Jericho. The two began to debate their former partnership…more like a Bachelor/Bachelorette moment. As Jericho tries to con Show into helping him win the Rumble, Truth decides to intervene and make it clear that he’s going to toss Jericho out.

Also, Ted picks up where Cody left off by pointing the finger at Rhodes for all the problems with Legacy. Orton then decides that he wants neither of them out there to help him win the WWE Championship from Sheamus.

WWE Championship

WWE Champion Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

After a neutral shoulder block, Orton drops the champion with a dropkick before slithering towards the corner. And just when it looks like Orton has control, Sheamus drops him with the Irish Hammer before sending Orton to the outside. On the outside, Sheamus begins to focus on the left forearm of the Legend Killer. Orton then gets an upper hand when he delivers chop block to the left leg of the Celtic Warrior.

Both men have injured body parts, but it is Orton that is having his way as begins to deliver the punishment to Sheamus and his left leg. But just when it looks like Sheamus could get control back, Orton resumes working on the left leg on the outside. Back in the ring, Orton continues the punishment on the Celtic Warrior before the champion drops Orton with a armbreaker.

Sheamus then follows suit of Orton with a reverse armbar. Orton tries to fight back, but the pain is too severe for the Viper to handle. But then he shows a steel look at those cold dark eyes. The two slug it out in the middle of the ring until Sheamus drops Orton with a Celtic Curse…only to get a two count. He then stands up to prepare to deliver the Celtic Cross. Orton wiggles out of the finisher to kick Sheamus in the side of the head to send him to the outside.

As Sheamus tries to crawl back in, Orton delivers that vicious DDT…but he also only gets a two-count. Orton begins to stalk the champion and prepares to punt Sheamus in the head, but the champion rolls out of the ring again. On the outside, Sheamus drives Orton’s shoulder into the steel post. But Cody Rhodes jumps over the barricade and nails Sheamus in the back. As the ref tries to talk to Cody, Orton hits the RKO…but it’s too little too late.

The ref throws the match out, and awards it Sheamus via DQ. After the bell, Cody tries to explain himself, but Orton drops Rhodes with a hard punch. DiBiase returns only to get dropped as well. But while Orton tries to decipher everything, he gets kicked in the head by the WWE Champion. As the champion celebrates, Legacy slinks their way out of the ring, while Orton tries to shake off the cobwebs.

Winner: Sheamus retains the WWE Championship via disqualification

So far, at this point, no one has lost their championships, and with two championship matches remaining, will the surprises finally happen in tonight’s historic Royal Rumble.

WWE Women’s Championship

Women’s Champion Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James

Mickie returns to ambush Piggy James aka Layla before jumping into the ring and delivering some punishment to Michelle. Mickie hits the Mickie T, and in record time, defeats McCool to win the Women’s Championship. After the bell, the Divas come down with a cake and hand it to Mickie. James then launches the cake onto the faces of both Michelle and Layla.

Winner: Mickie James wins the Women’s Championship

In the back, Rey Mysterio says a final prayer before heading to the ring for his shot at the World Heavyweight Championship.

World Heavyweight Championship

World Heavyweight Champion The Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio

The two men try to size each other up when Mysterio decides to take the fight to Taker. But Taker launches him over the top rope. Upon coming back into the ring, Taker decks Mysterio in mid flight to send him back to the outside. Taker goes for his vintage leg drop, but Mysterio misses…only to get dropped in between the ropes.

Back in the ring, Mysterio blocks the chokeslam and almost delivers the 619. But Taker counters it with a Tombstone attempt. But Rey uses his knees to block the finisher, only to meet the bottom end of the Deadman’s boot the hard way. On the outside, Mysterio meets the bottom end again as Taker drops a pair of boots on the outside. But on the third shot, Mysterio ducks and drops Taker, whose legs are wrapped around the post. On the outside, it looks as if Mysterio has the upper hand after a moonsault, but the Deadman launches him into the barricade.

Back in the ring, The Deadman, bleeding from his nose, shows his destructional ways as he begins to decimate Mysterio piece by piece. But Mysterio begins to fight back with a Tornado DDT and springboard dropkick. Rey then Drops the Dime, but is only able to get a two-count. Mysterio ducks out of the first Last Ride to hit a pair of 619s before getting dropped by The Last Ride the second time around as Taker picks up the win and retains the World Heavyweight Championship.

Winner: The Undertaker retains the World Heavyweight Championship

In the back, Kane decides to deliver some advice to Shawn Michaels: Whatever vision and obsession he has in his head, in the end, there is no light…only darkness. Afterwards, Shawn and Triple H exchange apologies for last week…but Shawn still believes that he and The Undertaker at WrestleMania is meant to be.

Main Event

The 2010 Royal Rumble Match

 Dolph Ziggler becomes the first man entered into this year’s Royal Rumble, followed by Evan Bourne at #2. After a few seconds of jawing, Bourne takes the fight to Ziggler. Ziggler delivers a dropkick to try to send Bourne out of the ring. But Bourne delivers a hurracanrana to almost send him out. Following a Zig Zag, Ziggler gets caught by the Airbourne as CM Punk heads down to the ring.

Following a headbutt, Punk tosses out both Bourne and Ziggler. After the eliminations, Punk tries to sell his Straight Edge lifestyle, but JTG comes down to take the fight. But JTG celebrates a little too much and is tossed out by Punk. After this elimination, Punk continues with his rant. But the swagger of Punk is quickly vanished as the next participant comes down…The Great Khali.

Punk tries to talk his way out of the fight by talking him into saving him. But Khali decides to deliver the Khali Chop instead. Following the Khali Vise, the next participant comes down…Beth Phoenix! But Phoenix comes in and eliminates The Great Khali by kissing him! But she soon becomes the victim of the GTS as Zack Ryder comes down and gets quickly eliminated by Punk. So far, Punk is looking to make history tonight.

As Punk gets cockier, the eighth participant comes down…Triple H! The two men stare eye to eye as The Game remembers that Punk tried to shave his head this past Friday night. The Game starts exchanging punches before delivering the Spinebuster as Drew McIntyre makes his way to the ring. In the process, Triple H calls out McIntyre, who decides it’s time to fight. But Punk aims for another GTS, only to get launched out of the ring by Triple H!

McIntyre and Triple H are exchanging blows as Ted DiBiase makes his way down for his turn in the Rumble. McIntyre and DiBiase decide to double team Triple H in an effort to toss out The Game. The two continue to deliver punishment as the countdown begins once more. But John Morrison makes his way into the Rumble and eyes McIntyre when he’s cut off by DiBiase. After taking out Ted, the Shaman delivers a Tornado DDT to McIntyre before DiBiase takes down Morrison.

DiBiase aims for Dream Street, but he gets clocked in the mouth as Triple H jumps in and drops Morrison as Kane makes his way down for his 12^th appearance to the Rumble. Kane comes in and begins to decimate everyone in sight. Kane continues to clean house following a double chokeslam to Morrison and McIntyre. He then begins to eliminate DiBiase as the countdown begins again. As Kane tries again to eliminate DiBiase, Cody Rhodes makes his way down to make the save. Legacy begins to work as a team and take down everyone in sight.

Legacy tries to eliminate the Big Red Monster when Triple H stops them as the countdown begins again with MVP making his way down. But The Miz clocks MVP with the US Championship to prevent MVP from making it to the ring. As MVP is getting carried out, Legacy tries to eliminate The Game when Kane comes in and drops both men. The countdown brings entrant #15, Carlito to the party. Carlito takes the fight to Legacy before getting slowed down by Triple H.

Kane and Carlito exchange blows before Carlito delivers a trifecta of Backstabbers. The Miz makes his way down after his ambush to join the party. Miz slides in to deliver the Skull Crushing Finale to Carlito when MVP makes his way back down to eliminate both himself and Miz from the Rumble. The two continue to slug it out on the outside as the 17^th entrant makes his way down: Matt Hardy.

Hardy comes in and instantly delivers a Twist of Fate before getting eliminated by Kane, who gets eliminated by Triple H.  Following a series of spinebusters, Triple H looks in control until McIntyre takes him down. But as everyone goes after the Game until Shawn Michaels comes in and eliminates practically everyone. After McIntyre is tossed, John Cena arrives at #19, and drops both members of DX before Triple H drops Cena with a Pedigree. But little does Hunter know is that Shawn eliminates The Game with Sweet Chin Music. As the crowd is stunned, Shelton Benjamin sprints down and drops both Cena and Michaels. As Benjamin looks for another Paydirt, Cena tosses him out to leave just HBK and Cena in the ring.

As both men lay staggered, Yoshi Tatsu comes in with fire and picks up where Benjamin left off. But Cena quickly tosses him out of Rumble with HBK picking up the pieces. And with that, Big Show makes his way down to join the party. Big Show drops both men with headbutts before focusing on Shawn Michaels. But HBK holds on to keep his hopes of facing Undertaker at WrestleMania. As Big Show continues his dominance, Mark Henry makes his way down to the ring.

The two big men go face to face before the physicality begins. Henry and Cena team up on Big Show as Chris Masters comes down for his turn in the Rumble. Masters guns for the Master Lock on Big Show, but Show just tosses him out with ease before Henry tries to eliminate Show. As the two men try to eliminate Show, R-Truth comes down and eliminates both Henry and Show…at the same time!!!

The 26^th entrant is revealed to be Jack Swagger. Swagger comes in and begins to deliver punishment to all three men. Swagger almost eliminates Michaels, but Shawn locks his arm in the ropes. As the remaining men lock horns, Kofi Kingston comes in and goes straight after Swagger. Swagger looks to eliminate Kofi, but Kofi counters and sends Swagger to the back. As Kingston eliminates Truth, Chris Jericho comes down and goes after everyone standing. But Cena delivers the Attitude Adjustment to Jericho before getting dropped by Michaels.

HBK delivers the Elbow before tuning up the band. But Kofi intervenes and nails Trouble in Paradise before getting eliminated by Cena. But Jericho hits the Codebreaker as entrant #29 makes his way down: The Rated R Superstar, Edge!!!! Edge goes straight for Jericho and eliminates him as Batista comes in and drops everybody. Edge drops Batista with a Spear before getting Adjusted by Cena. We are officially down to the Final Four: Shawn Michaels, Batista, John Cena and Edge.

HBK takes the fight to Cena with an elbow drop before dropping Batista with an enzuguri. After dropping another elbow, Shawn is on the edge battling with Edge. Following Sweet Chin Music, Shawn is eliminated by Batista. As Shawn staggers to concentrate, he knocks out one referee before sliding back into the ring. After delivering Sweet Chin Music to another official, Shawn finally slides out of the ring. As he walks towards the back, we are down to three as Batista and Cena begin to stir.

Batista sets up for the Bomb, but Cena counters and sends him out to eliminate him. But Edge gets the upper hand by ducking the clothesline and eliminating John Cena to win the 2010 Royal Rumble. This year, the show is Rated R…and so is WrestleMania 26!!!

2010 Royal Rumble Winner: The Rated R Superstar, EDGE!!!!

Sports fans! I know that I'm a day late and a buck short, but there is good reason for it: I became a member of The Last Call Facebook Page! I spent all day watching the shows, and then I ended peeing my pants from laughter. The guy is good, which is why I decided to join his efforts to make this more enjoyable than the garbage spewed out of ESPMSN. With that said, I'm up to bat first, then I'm going to switch gears and give the mic to Captain Ron.

In the Conference Championship Games, New York Football Team B looked to be primed for a Super Bowl run for the first time since they shocked the Colts in Super Bowl III. But the Indianapolis/Baltmore Horseshoes came out of nowhere and took over the entire second half of the game. They kept the Jets 'D' out of Peyton "I'm the best in the world at what I do" Manning's face. In the end, the 'Shoes destroyed the dream season of Team B, and in the process, showed that they didn't even have respect for the coveted AFC Championship.

In the Not Havin Fun Class Championship, the New Orleans Fish Hooks got the best of the Minnesota Upside Down Swoosh in the Bayou in overtime. And everyone decided to blame Brett Favre for costing Minnesota the game. Tha's just plain BS! It wasn't just Favre. It was the O-Line for causing him to bail out of the pocket. It was his receivers for not getting open. It was his coaches not paying attention to the fact that they had 12 guys on the field. I know the guys are 300 pounds each, but come on! Are you that blind?!

But the refs are just as blind...as always. If anything, it was the refs treating Brett Favre like Tom Brady. In all honesty, I have no problem with the No Fun League trying to protect their quarterbacks, but there is a fine line between protecting them and treating them like the game would end if they fall. But unlike Brady, Favre came back after getting hurt, tied the game up and made one huge mistake, which everyone continues to whine and moan about today.

But the Super Bowl is right around the corner, and I am making plans to appear in Miami during that week. Or at least I will be there in spirit. With this whole acupuncture thing going on, which my mother compares to marriage, it's hard to get away and enjoy the sun and the ladies. But I digress. It's time to pass things on to the host of Bleacher Brothers' The Last Call, Captain Ron.

Thanks TMQ, and I completely agree with your mother. Unfortunately, it was very hard to do a show last night due to extenuating circumstances. But I have decided to give everyone a taste of what's to come. Well, actually, they already know thanks to Monday's show. But we were unable to present the new nominees for this week's Badfish Award...which means that we will give out the award next Friday instead of this Sunday.

With that, here are the nominees for this week's Badfish Award...and it's a doozy!

#1) Peyton Manning

After winning the AFC Championship and earning the right to win the Super Bowl, Manning showed no excitement or exuberance for winning the championship. Now I know that this isn't the Super Bowl, but at least show some pride and respect to your organization and your fans. In fact, this doesn't make you a Badfish...it makes you a jackass and a tool.

#2) Joe Buck

This is a message to all the baseball fans out there: IT'S NOT BASEBALL SEASON! But someone didn't tell Joe Buck that. The guy actually thinks that he's good at his job that he can switch from baseball to football. But it's clear that if you have to rely on Tony Siragusa for your football information, you might have a problem. Buck did a terrible job of play by play commentary in Sunday's NFC Championship. And to top it all off, he spent the entire game kissing the ass of the officiating and Minnesota before jumping ship and joining the Saints bandwagon.

#3) Hulk Hogan

Hogan showed true signs of desperation when he resurrected the old Montreal Screwjob storyline from WWE to be used in TNA. It was clear what was going on here: Hogan was victim of the second Montreal Screwjob when he faced The Rock at No Way Out during his final stint with WWE. But Hogan crossed the line that made it clear that he is nothing more than a coward. Did I forget to mention that he has yet to answer the challenge of Hit The Ropes Radio and The Last Call?

#4) Skip Bayless and ESPN First Take

Yes, finally! ESPN poked the bear badly. As predicted and expected, ESPN focused all of its infamous sports knowledge on Brett Favre. From pointing the finger to Favre for his game changing interception on Sunday to the thoughts of retirement, Skip Bayless and some schmuck in a bad brown suit continued their bashing of everything from South Carolina's celebration to Tim Tebow's draft chances. And how did they make up for the 30 minutes that I'll never get back? Having two husky guys eat large burgers from some place called Sliders. In the words of those nutty doctors on Grey's Anatomy: "Seriously?"

#5) Brett Favre

Sorry Vikings fans...that history repeated itself on Sunday. Brett Favre is getting the shot end of the stick from everyone...including TLC. The problem is that it's not because of his tenacity. It's not because of his bouncing back from the ankle injury and the countless shots he took during the game. It's because he had to tell some guy with a really bad adult mustache that he is "highly unlikely" to return next season. What happened afterwards? ESPN went on the rampage, and for the past three days, that's all they've seem to want to talk about. So because of that, Brett is nominated for the Badfish Award. Again Team Purple, sorry...SORRY ABOUT YOUR TEAM'S DAMN LUCK!

The Quarterback has left the building...and The Captain Has Spoken!

With only six days until The Royal Rumble, WWE RAW opens up with the arrival of DX to greet the crowd. But what mood are these two in after last week’s ending to RAW?

Before the bell, Shawn and Hunter still have to hash out the situation between the two involving The Royal Rumble Match and The Streak. With a slight understanding, the two prepare for battle with Randy Orton’s goons.

WWE Unified Tag Team Champions DX vs. Legacy

Triple H and Cody Rhodes start the physicality when Triple H goes for the Pedigree early. But Ted DiBiase bounces down and drags him out of the ring. Then Michael Cole informs us that there is some breaking news about the Guest Hosts…which he’ll reveal after an onslaught of commercials.

Back on the program, HBK comes in to take over the anarchy. We also find out that James Roday is not in the building, so Dule Hill will handle the hosting duties. After taking flight, Shawn gets caught by DiBiase, which allows Cody Rhodes to get control and tag in DiBiase. Legacy begins to take complete control and dissect Shawn from the inside out.

DiBiase begins to decimate HBK following a kick to the skull, but Cody comes in to pick up the pieces. HBK manages to toss Rhodes before tagging in Triple H. The Game comes in firing with a Harley Race High Knee followed by a Facebuster. Following a pair of Spinebusters, Triple H takes aim at Rhodes. But Shawn tags in to deliver the finale. Shawn nails Sweet Chin Music on DiBiase to pick up the win over Legacy.

Winners: DX

Following a quick look at this Wednesday’s Psych featuring John Cena, we find out that MVP and Big Show will battle…NEXT!

MVP vs. Big Show

After a back and forth beginning, MVP looks to have the victory after the Drive By, but Big Show delivers a huge chokeslam to pick up the quick victory over Porter. But The Miz gets the last word over everyone as he stands tall above a fallen MVP.

Winner: Big Show

Back on the program, Legacy does not look happy about the loss when Randy Orton comes in to wonder where Legacy is heading after last week’s incidents. Orton makes it clear that he will become WWE Champion at The Rumble…with or without them.

In the back, John Cena and Dule Hill are having fun when The Miz comes in. The Miz tries to intimidate Dule Hill, but Dule decides that he’s putting the US Champion in a match tonight…against an opponent of his choosing! Google that indeed!

Divas Championship Semi-Finals

Eve vs. Maryse

Eve takes the fight to Maryse by kicking her in the gut and delivering the somersault slam. But Maryse manages to dodge the moonsault and attempt the Au Revoir, only to get countered by Eve again. Maryse uses the ropes for leverage and nails the French Kiss to pick up the win and advance to the Finals of the Divas Tournament. Despite the shocker from Dule Hill, Maryse is able to get the victory.

Winner: Maryse

Intermission: Vince McMahon’s Decision about Bret Hart

Vince comes down and makes it adamantly clear that Bret Hart will never return to the WWE. But as he prepares to leave, he is confronted by John Cena. Cena makes it clear that if he is nothing more than a piece of used gum, then when Vince turns 90, he will hunt him down, pick him up out of his wheelchair and knock the fake dentures out of Vince’s mouth.

Vince then accepts the challenge and extends an invitation to Bret Hart, but he also puts John Cena in a match against WWE Champion Sheamus.

United States Champion The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston

The Miz makes it clear that he is out to prove that he is indeed awesome when he takes the fight to Kofi. But as The Miz locks in for the victory, MVP’s music hits, which provides enough distraction for Kofi to nail Trouble in Paradise and pick up the win over the United States Champion. After the bell, MVP struts out and points to his watch signaling that time is running out for The Miz and his reign as United States Champion.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

In the Production Truck, Dule is playing around with the computer with Carlito. But even better, he sets up an accidental match between Carlito…and Kelly Kelly?! That match is coming up next.

Carlito vs. Kelly Kelly (Not a Typo)

Match never happened. Jack Swagger attacks Santino, who decides to take Kelly’s place.

But in the back, and after the rundown of the Royal Rumble, Cena and Dule are chatting it up with James Roday (via phone) when Alicia Fox shows up wondering what the outlook could be for her Semi-Final match with Gail Kim.

Divas Championship Semi-Finals Match

Gail Kim vs. Alicia Fox

With Dule Hill watching from ringside, things looked good for Fox through most of the match. But when Fox goes for the Foxtrot, she gets caught by the Rising Sun as Kim picks up the win and will meet Maryse for the Divas Championship. After the bell, Fox confronts Hill and then smacks the taste out of his…ear.

Winner: Gail Kim

Main Event

WWE Champion Sheamus vs. John Cena

The two men battle back and forth with Sheamus getting complete control following a vicious clothesline from the WWE Champion. After powering out of the Attitude Adjustment, Sheamus drops Cena with a Gutwrench Slam. After dropping Cena on the outside, Sheamus comes back in to take the countout victory…but Cena manages to slide back in before the final count.

Cena blocks the Celtic Curse and locks in the STF, but Sheamus reaches the ropes and delivers a the Curse on the outside. As Sheamus prepares to celebrate once again, Randy Orton slithers in and nails the RKO on the WWE Champion. Following the attack, Orton looks to nail the DDT on Cena, but Cena turns it into an Attitude Adjustment on the Viper. In the end, it’s Cena that is standing tall above Orton and Sheamus as RAW comes to an end.

Will it be Orton or Sheamus heading to WrestleMania? Who will be the 1 left standing at the end of The Royal Rumble?

Good evening Bleachers! This is your Captain Ron Johnson reporting live from the new HQ of The Last Call, Fort Collins, Colorado! And this here is The Last Call! Your new #1 source for sports updates and recaps.

Leading off tonight is some NFL news that is heating up the airwaves! We already know that Donovan McNabb is done in Philly? But with McNabb still in his prime, what teams will step up to pick up the veteran quarterback? After consulting my trusty cabinet, which I will call Pitchers, we got some pretty good ideas of who will possibly go after the Eagles QB. But two stood out right from the start…

Washington Redskins: With Mike Shanahan running things in D.C., the Skins look primed to make a legitimate run for the NFC East in a few years. But how much does Jason Campbell have left in his tank? Sure the guy is young, but he has yet been able to actually prove his worth in Washington, making his time with the Skins very limited. With McNabb, the Skins have a veteran who has played in the division and can adapt to the kind of offense that Shanahan will most likely run next season.

St. Louis Rams: The Rams are still in a rebuilding process mainly because of the departures of their two primetime players, Isaac Bruce and Torry Holt. Since then, the Rams have tried to regain their identity as one of the most potent teams in the NFL. With Marc Bulger’s time very limited due in large part to injury, and no legitimate backup in sight, the Rams could benefit from the arrival of McNabb.

In other NFL news, mainly for Broncos fans, Brandon Marshall has 99.9% chance of not being in the orange and blue next year. After a tumultuous offseason filled with legal battles and run-ins with the law, plus his constant wars with Babyface Half-McDaniels, Marshall is most likely gone from the Broncos. It’s clear that there is no way that Brandon will return to Denver, and being one of the most dangerous receivers in the league, it shouldn’t take long for someone to go after him.

With that said, our question of the night is “Who will win the Brandon Marshall Sweepstakes?” Better yet, “Who would benefit more from receiving Marshall?” Even better, “Would anyone want to take a chance on Marshall?”

Send your answers to my email or to my Facebook page…you know, since The Last Call’s Facebook page is still under construction.

Switching gears and turning to some smashmouth hockey, I decided that since this is our first show in our new backyard, I would show some love to the best fans in the world, the residents of Eagles Country.

Earlier last week, the Eagles were dropped with a bombshell: Can they win without Andrew Penner? Less than 24 hours after the CHL All Star Game, the Eagles were informed that Penner would be heading up as he was called up by the Springfield Falcons of the AHL. The Eagles, who are the CHL Affiliates of the Tampa Bay Lightning, had something to prove in their first home game of the new year.

They showed their tenacity in royal fashion as they outlasted the Bossier-Shreveport Mudbugs 4-3 on Friday Night. Led by veterans Riley Nelson and Aaron Schneekloth, and defended by the lone wolf of the team, Alex Penner, the Eagles got off to a fast start with a pair of goals to close out the second period. And Mike Mole took care of the rest as he recorded 21 saves out of 24 shots. Penner gave his brother a proper sendoff as he recorded the first goal of the season.

On Saturday night, the Eagles and Mudbugs welcomed everyone to fight club, but it was Colorado that delivered a huge victory for the fans in a back and forth, physical game as Ryan McLeod netted the game winner in overtime to help the Eagles take the doubleheader from the Mudbugs 5-4 and keep Colorado tied with Rapid City atop the Northern Conference with 49 points apiece!

WWE & TNA

In WWE news, the Royal Rumble is just around the corner, and this past week, we found out the next challengers to the three World Championships at the January ender to 2010. We now know that Randy Orton, Ezekial Jackson & Rey Mysterio will get a chance to hoist some gold at the 2010 Royal Rumble.

After outlasting both John Cena and Kofi Kingston in a Triple Threat Match this past Monday on RAW, Orton will face Sheamus for the WWE Championship. Are we looking at the Age of Orton Resurrected? Or will the Celtic Warrior down another WWE Legendary Superstar? From ECW, Ezekial Jackson, after surviving seven other superstars, will face Christian for the ECW Championship. Is this Zeke’s moment to shine? Or will Captain Charisma be able to survive the invasion of the monster?

And from SmackDown, it was Rey Mysterio that got the best of Batista. After weeks of controversy, the war was finally settled inside a steel cage. Despite the ominous structure and the wrath of both The Animal and Vickie Guerrero, Mysterio persevered and will now face The Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship at the Royal Rumble. Will the Largest Underdog leave World Champion? Or will The Deadman claim another victim?

Tonight, TNA presents Genesis, Live on Pay Per View. TNA World Champion AJ Styles will battle Kurt Angle in the rubber match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. Also, The Outsiders reunite for a huge tag team match as they will battle Beer Money in a payback match from last week’s iMPACT! Plus, what does The Icon Sting have in store for his new boss, Hulk Hogan, who makes his first PPV appearance in wrestling since his WrestleMania match with Vince McMahon?

{NFL Playoff Highlights}

NFL Playoffs

On Saturday, it was all about those playoffs that make Jim Mora cringe every winter. In the early game, it was WHO DAT?! DEM Saints showing why they are the most dangerous team out of the NFC as they decimated the injury riddled Arizona Cardinals 45-14 to head to their 2^nd NFC Championship Game in the team’s history.

Led by Reggie Bush’s impressive play and Drew Brees’ three touchdown tosses, the Saints are marching on to solidify that the road to Miami will indeed go through New Orleans.

From the AFC, it was Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts proving that they are still determined to win the Super Bowl as they dominated the Baltimore Ravens 20-3 to advance to yet another AFC Championship Game. The Ravens didn’t show the same tenacity that was on display in Foxboro two weeks ago, and because of that lackluster performance, the Colts took advantage and destroyed the Ravens’ hopes of advancing to their second straight AFC Championship Game.

In Sunday’s epic showdowns, it was Brett Favre that showed why he is the man in the postseason as he and Sidney Rice just owned the Dallas Cowboys with a trifecta of TDs between the two. The Vikings from start to finish dominated the ‘Boys as Minnesota wins 34-3 to advance to their first NFC Championship in over a decade. Favre finishes with 234 yards and four touchdown passes.

From the AFC, it was AJ Johnson & Nick The Flick’s New York Football Jets that outlasted the well favored San Diego Chargers 17-14 to reach the AFC Championship Game. Thanks to Shonn Greene’s 128 yards on 23 carries, Rex Ryan is looking more like a genius than a madman. As for the Chargers, well, if home is truly where the heart is, they lacked it in their own backyard.

So the stage is set for next Sunday’s Conference Championship Games. From the NFC, it will be Big Bad Purple People Eaters, the Minnesota Vikings face WHO DAT?! Dem New Orleans Saints in the Dome in New Orleans. From the AFC, it will the Indianapolis Colts eyeing another conference championship when they host the New York Jets. The winners will join AJ and Nick in South Beach for Super Bowl 44!

The Badfish Award

It’s time now for an award’s ceremony that I like to call “The Badfish Award.” This award is given out to the proverbial dumbasses of the week for their questionable actions and all around decorum. This week, we had a barrage of potential morons, but we had to narrow it down to four, which you the fans will be able to vote on via the Bleacher Brothers website!

This week’s nominees are without a doubt perfect for the infamous Badfish Award:

A)    Mark McGwire: McGwire finally admitted that he used steroids during the final stretch of his career, including his infamous Home Run Chase against Sammy Sosa over a decade ago. Yeah, Mark, we already knew about the steroids. Didn’t you get the memo?

B)    Marvin Lewis: The Cincinnati Bengals head coach won the NFL Coach of the Year, over Norv Turner, Jim Caldwell, Rex Ryan, Sean Payton, Ken Whisenhunt and several other coaches who I would think are worthier of the award. From this fan’s standpoint, it looks like Ochocinco’s $1 Bribe has finally paid off, considering that the Bengals got stoned in Week 17 and didn’t even bother to show up two weeks ago against the very same team.

C)    Gilbert Arenas: Did you buy tickets to the gun show? Apparently, Gilbert Arenas did. After bringing guns to the Wizards’ arena, Gilbert has been suspended indefinitely, faces a lengthy prison sentence…and has yet to shoot himself in the leg. I think it is only fair for the court to force him to write on the blackboard 1000 times, “I will not enforce the 2^nd Amendment.”

D)    Bill Plaschke: The LA Times reporter informed all of us fans that our opinions don’t matter. I’m not kidding. This California blowhard actually said that it doesn’t matter what the fans think; it’s about the team. But if it wasn’t for fans, neither of us would have jobs. Without fans, there would be no sports. Bill definitely poked the bear on this one, and he is about to, in the words of fellow colleague Fred Richani, get “bitchified” by the ultimate place for fans.

E)    Lane Kiffin: What some are calling a great move by USC, I call the most bonehead and cowardly move since Brian Kelly giving his former team, the Cincinnati Bearcats, the finger at their annual banquet. Kiffin left the University of Tennessee after just one season in the SEC to return to the West Coast and coach the Trojans.

But the recruiting scandal also followed him as players committed to Tennessee may be jumping ship to Southern Cal. Now the City of Sinners can rest easy knowing that at least for this week, Manny Ramirez, Kanye West and Lady Gaga’s horrible singing skills will not be the talk around the water cooler.

Before we go tonight, I would like to extend my heartfelt sympathy to the family of Gaines Adams. The Chicago Bears Defensive End passed away this past weekend in his hometown of Greenwood, South Carolina due to cardiac arrest from an enlarged heart. The thoughts and prayers of Bleacher Brothers as well as us here at Last Call go out to Adams’ family. Adams was just 26 years old.

Welcome to the new 2010. I’m Ron Johnson, and this was The Last Call. Send your questions or comments to my page on Facebook, and be on the lookout for the new Last Call Facebook page. Good night from Bleachers Central, and we’ll see you next week!